Cricket fans will have seen the coverage this week of the funeral of Dickie Bird OBE, the former test match umpire, at St Mary’s church in his hometown of Barnsley. Mourners lined the streets in honour of the sporting legend. Sir Geoffrey Boycott shared his memories with mourners, from the lectern. A key word here is mourners.
A Church of England funeral, following the death of a loved one, provides a cathartic, spiritual and emotional space to mourn our loved ones. But with busy family lives, and often little or no personal relationship with their local church, many families are now opting for 'straight to crem' funeral packages offered through funeral directors. You may be able to park the ashes on the mantlepiece afterwards, or scatter them in a favourite location, but it’s not so easy to find somewhere to put all your grief. Even if we do not regularly attend worship, we may be familiar with the words of the funeral liturgy and find comfort in them. Our places of worship provide a comforting, familiar and hopefully uplifting backdrop for family and friends, to gather, grieve and mourn. Not only are our clergy trained in the liturgical and theological aspects of the funeral service, they are an important spiritual and pastoral support during what can be a very difficult time for family members and friends.
Earlier this month, Gill Layton, Keith Lawton and Sue Jackson, pictured L-to-R, were licensed by Bishop Richard as the diocese’s first Licensed Lay Funeral Ministers (LLFMs). This new lay ministry aims to support clergy, to make it easier to arrange a church funeral and to provide more consistent pastoral support for grieving families around the diocese. In Hereford City deanery, it is also part of the new service called Hereford Funerals, which can offer streamlined administration, with funeral details confirmed within 24 hours of an inquiry. The new LLFMs were trained in partnership with the Diocese of Gloucester, which has already seen benefits in terms of higher numbers of Church of England funerals and the associated fees and families have experienced a more efficient process.
Rev'd Dr Elizabeth Wild is Diocesan Director of Mission & Ministry and Director of Vocations and Ordinands. She says of the new ministry, "Funeral ministry is a valuable way of serving our communities and supporting people at one of the most difficult times in their lives. It has been a wonderful privilege to travel alongside Sue, Keith and Gill as they have stepped into this ministry. I am confident that they will be a great blessing to those whom they support at this important time."
Funeral Ministry is a lay ministry and open to anyone to consider, but our first three LLFMs definitely share some qualities including a clear calling to this new ministry. Sue Jackson’s career and her experience as a Head Server at the cathedral, leading processions, assisting clergy and delivering Christian ministry, seemed a perfect fit. She says, “I came to funeral ministry after a long career in the NHS as a Nurse in Oncology and Palliative Care, including 15 years as a Community Macmillan Nurse, and as a therapist counselling people with Long Term Health Conditions. I have had a lot of experience with people approaching the end of their lives.”
Likewise Keith Lawton, as Churchwarden at St Nicholas church in Sutton Saint Nicholas for 33 years, has walked alongside families, funeral directors and clergy through many funerals, including leading two funerals at the crematorium for close friends of his own. “I know what it is like when you lose someone whom you love dearly; who have been such an important part of your life. I wondered what I could do to help people in what is the most difficult time of their lives for many. When I reflected and prayed on what happened to me on these occasions, I realised I was being called to the Lay Funeral Ministry.”
Gill Layton was herself a funeral director for 15 years before training for the new ministry. She says, “Having reached the decision to step away from that 'full-time' commitment, it was definitely a case of 'One door closes and another door opens'. I see this new role as being a different way of serving my neighbours. Within the many different roles required to provide funerals for people locally there are so many very caring people. I've been honoured to have learned from both the bereaved families and friends of deceased people and from many colleagues.”
The formal training, delivered in Gloucester, explores Liturgy, Contemporary Funerals and Bereavement Support. It includes role play, time spent with independent funeral directors and staff at the crematorium, clergy and celebrants, and observing various types of services including burials, child funerals, cremations, interment of ashes, and pre funeral visits. LLFMs are licensed to conduct funerals in churches, crematoria, and at a grave side and conduct internments of ashes and memorial services. The new training equips them to:
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Visit the family of somebody who has died;
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Support them to plan a Christian funeral service for their loved one, which may include helping them to choose music, hymns, Bible readings;
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Prepare an address which celebrates the life of the deceased and the Christian message of hope in God's promise of Eternal life;
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Lead the service, and support any family members who are taking part in the service as well as offering prayers for the family;
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Commend and commit the person who has died to God' s care;
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Provide bereavement support after the funeral, if needed, or signpost people to organisations which they can access in future if they choose.
Says Keith, “Most importantly it is being with people when they have lost a loved one and walking alongside them through to the day of their loved one’s funeral and then looking to the Parish and PCC where they live to bring them into local church life. It is about the message of hope and life after death that is so important.” Echoing Sue and Gill’s feelings about the course, Keith continues, “The more training I completed, the more confident that I felt this calling was for me. My meetings with Rev Dr Elizabeth Wild in our Diocese and my Rector Rev Paul Roberts were key to me understanding my life’s journey which had led me to this calling. The training was thorough. It made me reflect on my faith, my contribution to society as a Christian and whether I could really become a Lay Funeral Minister.”
Gill adds, “Whilst adhering to the Church of England's authorised structure for these services, and recognising that none of us is a ‘stand-alone’ service provider, we've learned about wonderful resources available to offer assistance in making the service 'bespoke' for each deceased person. Generally, I believe this new ministry helps to make more readily available a minister to meet with bereaved people and to conduct a church-led funeral. For me, the training has reinforced the idea that all church members share in a ministry to bereaved people; whether that's through prayer, or through being a good neighbour. Perhaps we could all be a little more pro-active in being prepared to help at these ‘difficult times’.”
Sue will be based in Hereford City deanery, Keith is based in his home benefice of the Maund Group and Gill is based in Eardisley benefice, however Licensed Lay Funeral Ministers are licensed to serve in the whole of the Diocese, should there be a need, and this may be the case particularly where there is a vacancy.
For more information about Licensed Lay Funeral Ministry, please visit our Funerals page.
ENDS